Sitting with my back to the doughnuts!

Carbo Loading!

Last week I suffered a tiny setback and gained 1/2 pound, after having lost a total of 18 pounds over the past two months. I haven't panicked, but it was a bit of a wake up call. I'm generally pretty careful with my food intake during the week - keeping a little more strict watch on my points, etc. But the weekends tend to be a bit more problematic - the comings and goings of family members, having other commitments, the social trend of eating out on the weekends - all contributes. This past weekend in particular, my body was apparently craving complex carbohydrates - and I indulged it! It all started when I had a meeting on Saturday which began at 8 a.m. and ran until 12:30 p.m. One of the other people in the meeting always brings relatively healthy goodies for our breaks, and lately he's been into making bread. We all know there's nothing like homemade bread. One small slice wouldn't have hurt - but once I had a taste, I ended up grabbing slice after slice, and of course, slathering each slice in butter!

In the afternoon there was a memorial service and afterward the family invited everyone to a meal - people had brought all kinds of goodies - honey baked ham, rice, mashed potatoes, MACARONI AND CHEESE, southern-style greenbeans, chess pies, and more chess pies! It was heaven on earth! And again, I indulged - especially on the macaroni and cheese - which is a particular weakness of mine and the world's best comfort food - especially on cold rainy fall days.

And if that wasn't enough - in the evening a friend and I went out to a movie. We decided we didn't want to eat dinner first (who could after all that food?) but after the movie went to a restaurant for a "bite." Being the cold November night it was, soup really appealed, but did they have a nice hearty, healthy vegetable soup? Of course not! They had a shrimp gumbo (which was probably pretty healthy - but I'm not a big fan) and a potato bacon soup. "Mmmmm" as my grandson says - I haven't had potato soup in a long time! Did I order just the cup of soup? Oh no.... I went for the "giant" portion. And while I know potato soup has a cream base, which is why I typically avoid it, I usually have counted on it being a bit thinner then this one was. This soup was really more like a gravy - and OMG was it good! By the time I finished that along with the ciabatta bread that came with it, I thought I was going to be sick!

So I wasn't surprised when I weighed on Sunday morning and had picked up a 1/2 pound. With Thanksgiving coming I know I'm going to have to either be extra careful leading up to Thanksgiving, or get some more exercise to keep from having a setback again. Because we'll be going to my brother and sister-in-law's home and my sister-in-law is a fabulous cook and I know I won't be able to say no there!

The Doughnut Dilemma

The good news however, is that even though I had a negative physical gain with the 1/2 pound, today I've had a psychological gain and triumphed over doughnuts!

Doughnuts are another weakness. Especially Krispy Kreme doughnuts (don't even start me on the family "legend" about my uncle who sold the Krispy Kreme doughnut recipe for $50!) which rank right up there with heavenly bliss. I have successfully avoided eating a Krispy Kreme doughnut or any kind of doughnut for several months now. My friend Jan and I know first hand the siren call of a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop with that "Hot Doughnuts Now" sign flashing. Several years ago Jan was working where I worked and we decided to ride to and from work together. We also decided to be virtuous and get up extra early and work out at the YMCA before going to work. So we did - it was great - we would work out, shower and get dressed and be at work by 8:30. The only problem was that to get to work we had to drive by a Krispy Kreme shop! Well, I suppose we could've taken an alternative route but....

Anyway, as we approached the shop, one of us would cut a glance at the other, the other would look back and grin - and before you knew it, we were pulling in! It was then that Jan and I learned that while we can be good friends and can encourage each other "from afar" in our weight loss attempts - we can't actually diet together - we always end up sabotaging ourselves.

So this is the history I'm dealing with when this morning one of my co-workers comes in waving a doughnut box under my nose. Granted, they weren't Krispy Kreme doughnuts, but they were doughnuts and my light WW breakfast was already wearing off! "No No" I cried - take those out of here. "Oh come on" she said, fairly sprouting devil's horns. "No, I'm trying SOOO hard." So she graciously took them away.

But the box is sitting on the table in our office kitchen. When I went in there to heat up my lunch they loomed at me. I had to avert my eyes to keep from being tempted to just open the box and look at them. I moved my lunch to another table and sat down with my back to the doughnuts. If I don't see them, I won't be tempted. One of my other co-workers came in and saw me - "You've got you back turned on the doughnuts haven't you?" she asked.

"Yep" was all I could say, as I focused on my WW lunch!

Sweet Tarts vs. Grapefruit

Honest to God - the following actually transpired between me and my son:

Chase calls me at work - "Mom, I'm going out to the store to pick up some milk - do you want anything?"
I responded, "You know, I've been craving something sour. Would you get me some kind of sour something?
He asked, "Like what?"
"Oh," I responded, "something like Sweet Tarts or some similar candy."
"Okay," he said and hung up.

I arrived home from work and was chatting with Chase and Jennifer when he picked up a grapefruit and handed it to me. "Here's your 'something sour'," he said. I just looked at both of them as though they were crazy - I had been thinking about those Sweet Tarts all the way home!

"You're kidding, right?" knowing the prankster my son likes to be.

"Oh no," Jennifer said, Chase has been fussing at me because I've had a lot of candy in the house and you've been eating it and that's not helping your diet. So we got you a grapefruit instead!"

Chase was looking very smug and proud of himself! I didn't know whether to thank them for reigning me in and not caving in to my request for candy - or to be annoyed with them for not getting me the item I had requested!

In fact, they had said they were going to take away all the candy that was left from Halloween - a big orange plastic pumpkin had been sitting on a side table filled with the likes of Tootsie Rolls. Again, I thought they were kidding - however, when I stuck my hand in the pumpkin after they left to go out for the evening - sure enough - no candy!

I had to chuckle - my kids love me and they know I'm serious about the weight loss and that's their way of helping - tough love!

Of course I coped, and was ultimately grateful that they didn't get the candy for me. When I weighed in on Sunday morning I was happy they were so tough on me. In spite of a week of still sneaking the occasional candy piece and heavy dinner times with delicious morsels like homemade lasagna, I still managed to lose another pound! I had gone out and walked the two mile loop at Long Hunter again on Saturday so I know that's a saving grace. I tried to imagine what if I had stuck better to the WW plan during the week and did the 2 mile walk - maybe it would've been more than 1 pound. What i know I can now do is work a little harder, make sure I can get some activity in during the week and maybe I'll see a little more progress.

Til then, I'm at least still on track with an 18 lb weight loss since September....

.....but I still haven't eaten the damn grapefruit!

Surviving Halloween

This week saw another 1/2 pound loss - not great, but given my body's apparent schedule of dropping a few pounds one week and little or nothing for a couple of weeks I'm still feeling good about it. Plus, this was Halloween week - and while I didn't completely stay away from candy - and the fabulous pumpkin pie my son made from scratch - I still lost and didn't gain, which is really something to celebrate.

And I finally made it out for some activity. I took the grandson out to Long Hunter State Park, where they have a two mile paved trail around a lake that he and I walked around. Well...I walked - and pushed him in the stroller. It was a beautiful fall day, the temperature was perfect and it was a peaceful time for me. However, since it's been a while since I've done that - my 54 year old hips are letting me know today just how out of shape I am! Jenn and I still plan on getting to the fitness center in the apartment complex a few nights a week to walk on the treadmill, so if I can get into that routine, then perhaps I'll see a little more progress.

But getting past Halloween without major damage is a win. Now I can look forward to Thanksgiving with a little less trepidation!

Another Breakthrough!

So I guess I've figured out my body's weight loss pattern. After another couple of frustrating weeks with only a 1 pound loss, this past Sunday when I weighed in I was surprised to see a 4 lb. drop! A real surprise given that I haven't been carefully tracking my points, and I know I'm probably going over points on some days, and then the Halloween candy is looming large! But I guess the cumulative effect is what's important, and as long as I don't fool myself into thinking that I don't have to cut back as much as I had, then I'll be okay and continue to be successful.

So this makes another milestone - I'm now officially below 240! And significantly below enough that I don't think I have to worry about gaining back above 240 unless I just totally lose my mind and willpower this week. So now my next short term goal is to drop below 230.

People are noticing the weight loss, although in recent photos of myself I still couldn't see it. I have this terrible double chin that just horrifies me when I see photos! When I start seeing that go, I'll be much happier! But I'm also worried that besides the weight loss sometimes producing sagging skin where fat used to be, my family on my mother's sad is cursed with turkey necks - where you have the perpetual double chin that looks like a turkey's wattle! I've never really been tempted or vain enough to consider cosmetic surgery, but after I get the weight off, if I still have that neck, I may very well consider a surgery to get rid of that!

Hanging Tough

It's been a couple of weeks since I've posted anything on the blog, and it's gratifying to know that people are reading it because I've had a few people remind me that I haven't written anything! Time issues and life transitions has interfered with updating these last two weeks. Since the last entry I've lost another pound - but held steady for two weeks. I'm slacking off a little because of schedules, etc. and so am planning to get back on track. I do pretty well during the week while at work, but anything off my schedule or during the more relaxed weekends is a little more difficult. There's also the going out to dinner or lunch with friends and family that can make it more difficult - if I want to use that for an excuse!

My home life has suddenly gotten very interesting which is one reason I'm delayed in writing here. I've gone from being a single woman living alone for the last 7, almost 8 years, to having my son, daughter-in-law, and grandson living with me. What started out as a temporary thing seems to becoming semi-permanent. With the state of the economy and our collective finances it just makes more sense to have them living with me and all of us contributing to the household upkeep. But we need to change from them living out of suitcases to a more stable environment. I have only a 2-bedroom apartment, although it's a large apartment. So we're in the midst of rearranging furniture, finding a place for the baby to sleep (he now sleeps in Gramma's bed!), and just making it a comfortable situation for everyone. And as soon as one becomes available at my complex, we'll be moving into a 3 bedroom apartment.

However, the current living situation makes staying on the plan a little more challenging. We're cooking a lot together, and we're not always cooking the healthiest of foods. But, Jenn, my daughter-in-law, is going to start on the plan as well, so our meals will be more healthy, within the plan. Chase will also benefit whether he wants to or not! Plus Jenn is at home during the day and can plan our meals. She also wants to start exercising on a regular basis, which should motivate me since I've still not gotten into a routine that includes activity. If she goes to the apartment complex fitness center in the evenings, I should go with her and at least get on the treadmill or elliptical trainer.

So life is continuing to be the adventure it usually is for me! After a long spell of relative inactivity and a lot of "alone" time, my home is filled with loving family members and the delighted squeals of a 14 month old who thinks everything his daddy does is funny. It's not a bad life!

Setting Goals

I lost another 2.5 lbs this past week which gives me a total weight loss of 11.5 lbs! So on the WW website I get another little "star" for making the first 10 pounds - although I got fussed at again for "fast weight loss!" That just kills me!

In terms of setting goals for weight loss - I've got the long term goal for total weight loss of course, but I also look at the recommended goal that WW sets which is to lose 10% of your total weight as a step by step process. So my first short term goal according to WW is to lose about 25 lbs.

But I have found that my own mental goal is to get past certain weight hurdles based on 10s - in other words - I started out at 253.5, so I was excited when I got below 250. Now I'm at 242, so my goal is to drop below 240, etc. Then when I get to 210 - the big goal will be to get below 200. That'll be a day to celebrate!

With the first 11.5 pounds off I'm feeling successful and encouraged to keep going. I'm not always so faithful to recording the points each day - especially on weekends. But I find that I'm ALWAYS conscious about points and how many I have at a given time. I've done this long enough now that I have a sense of how many points there are for foods that I commonly eat, so I just keep running inventory and if I get unsure - then I back up and lighten up on what I eat to make sure I don't go over. And although I've never recorded them - I know also that I have 35 points a week to play with - so that gives me a cushion on the weekends!

My big success this past weekend though - was going to my brother and sister-in-law's for dinner and not overindulging - especially on the raspberry chocolate brownies and homemade chocolate ice cream. So I might have had a few too many slices of fried green tomatoes - but I only let her slice me a very small slice of brownie and a small scoop of ice cream. And although initially other family members teased me a little bit - knowing my addiction to chocolate - overall they were actually quite supportive and encouraging me (although I really know that they were just happy that it meant more brownies for them!)

An inspiring compliment

While I know that 9 pounds is a great weight loss in one month - I'm still having a hard time telling it, although my jeans fit a little more loosely. I've been trying to "visualize" being thinner and when I walk, I carry myself like a thin person - so perhaps the psychological benefits of the visualization will help as well - we'll see.

However, nothing works like when friends and family tell you they notice. I was shocked yesterday when my son said, "Hey mom, you're losing weight!" Now you have to understand that my son is not one to just give out compliments to me - and more often than not he gives "backhanded" compliments in which you're never really sure if he's serious or not. So I'm saying "Really? You think so?" - and he continued to affirm that I looked as though I had lost weight.

This morning however, still not really believing him, I asked Jennifer, my daughter-in-law, "Did you put him up to saying that, or did that come from him?" - figuring that she, like most wives, has to clue him in to things or prompt him. She insisted that it was his own comment.

So, that went a long way in inspiring me to keep going. The WW food plan is not difficult and I'm getting comfortable in keeping track of points values and knowing what foods have fewer points and choosing to eat more healthfully. And I even allow myself the occasional small piece of chocolate or something like mashed potatoes so that I don't totally freak out at some point and binge on large quantities of all the things that I shouldn't eat.

The support of family and friends has been crucial. When planning on going out to dinner with a friend last night, I was more cautious with my eating earlier in the day so I could "splurge" a little bit if need be. My friend was so cute when he picked me up and said "How many points do you have left for dinner?" That meant a lot to me because it means my friends and family are also being conscientious about my food plan as well. Quite unlike the early years of my first marriage when my ex-husband would deliberately try to sabotage my diets by placing unhealthy things in front of me.

But that's the past, and for now....it's all good.